We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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