at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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