apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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