okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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