do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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