got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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