her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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