You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Green mimosas i think yes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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