Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
