Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
