i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
