all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
