i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
