living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am one with the molecules
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
