I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
