How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
