Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
