Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
