I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drake has all the answers
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
