Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
