then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
