His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
