The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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