we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
