that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
