then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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