Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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