this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
