my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
