Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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