I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
