hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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