finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
