This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
