Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Randomize
