white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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