Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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