It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
