I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
