i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
