the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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