Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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