Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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