DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize