I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
