I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
