There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
