Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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