i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
