How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
