Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
