ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
