Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
two words: eviction party
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Even my vagina gasped.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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