I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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