he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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