Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
