We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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