I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
