just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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