i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
